Girl! Get Over a Break Up Like a Boss

Break ups suck! (These apply to child less relationships, and the relationships you'd be an absolute idiot to re-enter. )

1. Don't immediately decide that you're going to be friends and then start trying to be friends. The reality is one person wants a friendship and the other wants more so this is not ideal.
2. Keep your distance. Stay away from him, his friends, family and his hangouts. Hopefully you don't work together. If you're able too take a 2 week vacation in a different country, do that. 
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3. Social Media Block Out - Remove this person from your social media accounts - block if necessary or you'll find yourself social media stalking, observing this person and feeling sad. And if he cheated on you or moved on the next day; well prepare to see that new girl all over his accounts.
4. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family - they will encourage you and boost your self esteem and confidence.
5. Engage in healthier coping habits, instead of drinking alcohol, start juicing, making smoothies or volunteering. Listen to happier, upbeat music, and watch comedies. 
6. Delete his number; in case you get drunk or loose yourself temporarily - so you don't drunk-text or call and sound pathetic or crazy. 
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7. Do not stop yourself from crying. You need to allow yourself to mourn the loss of this person. And work through your feelings and emotions.
8. Understand that it takes time to heal. Don't force yourself to get over it - you'll do more harm to yourself than good. 
9. Reorganize your things and do some cleaning. Cleaning can alleviate stress and also signify a new beginning to a new you.
10. Throw out his shit. Remove or return his things to him (Return them via mail or have one of your friend take it.) Try to remove other painful memory triggers like gifts. 
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11. Avoid Rebound-mania! Don't quickly jump into a new relationship. A new relationship will seem exciting because of the negativity from the last one. If that new relationship doesn't work out then you have to deal with the pain of two relationships. So give yourself some time please.
12. Reflect on the relationship, and look at why you are better off without your ex and look into ways he may have been holding you back in life.
13. Reinvent yourself - Change your makeup routine, Add some intensity to your workout, or even change up your wardrobe. Focus more time on your career, making more money and your hobbies; read. 

14. Continue to love your fabulous self! 

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Pursuing a Serious Relationship

Most people do not want to be alone so they seek out serious relationships which they aren't ready for. I have been guilty of that; trying to be in relationships when I am not ready (though I thought I was).

I am also around people who want relationships but aren't equipped to be in one; they are selfish, have some growing up to do and have unrealistic expectations. I then observe as they enter relationships, with immediate mistrust of their partner because of unhealed wounds from past relationships, and constantly creating drama stemming from their unrealistic expectations.

These questions to serve as a self assessment and reflection tool because sometimes we're broken and dented and we don't even know it.

 The sample answers/scenarios to these questions are both personal answers and witnessed reasons I have heard friends and acquaintances state. If you're in a not so serious relationship and you're thinking about getting serious; some questions may apply. 

Before you jump into a relationship; here's the list of questions you may ask yourself:

1. Why do I hate being single? Is it because you have no hobbies? Is it because you have no friends? If you hate being single because all your friends are in relationships well clearly that is not a good enough reason to start a relationship. Do hate being single because you want someone to post pictures with on social media? That again is another ridiculous reason to be in a relationship. The answers go on and on - but be honest with yourself.
2. Am I emotionally and mentally stable to be in a relationship? Are you going to have a mental breakdown if things don't go your way? If you are still licking wounds from an old relationship  - your answer is probably no
3. Do you have existing trust issues? Are you going to enter a relationship having a high level of distrust with someone who has done nothing to lose your trust and ignore the fact that the person is simply trying to gain it? Then you probably have trust issues. Are you going to go out of your way to spy on or even set a honey pot for that person? Then you probably have trust issues. Are you going to immediately think the person is up to something if they don't respond almost immediately to a text or return a phone call? You guessed it - You probably have trust issues. 

4. Have you recently gotten out of a relationship? If the answer is yes - Why are you trying to get into another relationship? Have you even gotten over the last one? 
5. Are you ready to make compromises and decisions that are not just about you anymore? Yes this is a serious question some people do not understand relationships take work. When you're in a relationship or even dating with that intention, they'll be some compromises and joint decisions.
6. Do you enjoy your own company? If you were supposed to clone yourself; would you love being around yourself? Would you trust yourself with your secrets? Would you bring a negative or positive energy to yourself? Would you admire the clone of yourself? All the attributes, characteristics and qualities in you. Seriously if you won't like being around you why would anyone else?
7. Are you capable of being honest and open? First you'll have to be able to answer that question honestly. People enter relationships unable to tell the truth and even start the entire thing with a lie.
8. Are you good at communicating? Or are you going to post subliminal messages on social media? Or say nothing is wrong when asked knowing damn well you have a problem with something? Expanding the last point in item 3; ask the other person their preferred method of communication; not everyone likes texting.

A few questions to ask during the early stages of the relationship

1. Why am I with this person? Does this person make you happy or check the mental boxes in your head? Are you friends and family influencing you to be with this person?
2. Am I interested in this person for the right reasons? (You may have answered this question in Question 1) The person you just started dating or "talking to"; think to yourself why are you interested - Is it because they can advance your career or status in life? If so stop wasting their time and your time - They'll eventually catch on. 
3. Can I deal with this persons anger? If you've seen the person you're with angry or extremely upset at someone else or something. Ask yourself if you can deal with it. Does the person throw things or say the meanest things? Would you be able to handle it if it was directed towards you? 
4. Are you physically attracted to this person? Might be a weird question, may seem shallow too - But often times we are so desperate to be in a relationship or our friends set us up.  The person is nice, there is peer pressure of sorts so we get into the relationships with someone we aren't even physically attracted to. 

I am sure there are more questions you can and should ask yourself. If you can think of some post them below! 

6 Things to Do on Valentines Day and Avoid the Weather

It is cold in the North-East and  other places. Some of us just do not want to be outdoors and deal with the weather and everything else. Besides Netflix and Chill, Hulu and Hang, and Amazon Prime and Wine; Here are some indoor activity ideas! (They are also budget friendly too)

1. Start Scrap-booking or put together a Photo Album
Everything is online in today's world, and we just post and publish away.  By putting together a photo album or scrapbook you and your loved can print photos and reminisce on the good times. If you don't have printed photos or a printer to do so; spend time picking out the photos you would want to print for your album or scrapbook.

2. Make a Music Playlist
There are often times both of you want to listen to music. If you are like my boyfriend and I we DO NOT listen to the same music. It's an absolute warfare in the car over who controls the Bluetooth/Auxiliary cable. With this you can find mutual ground and music you both can tolerate.

3. Cook/Bake Together
If you are a couple that cooks or one person in the relationship can cook. It's a great activity to do together, spend some time teaching the other one to cook. If you guys are from different countries/continents, have some more fun and teach your partner how to cook food or a dish from your native country. 

photo credit: 187/365 - Cooking Buddy! via photopin (license)

4. Watch the NBA All Star Game together
Given that either of you are interested in Basketball. Watch some basketball together. Make sure you scream at the television and yell really loudly. 

5. Meditate Together (or Pray Together) 

What's better than some good old meditation? You and your partner can try doing this together. If you're not into meditation and you are religious; you can also opt out for an extended prayer session.

photo credit: Picture 029 via photopin (license)

6. Work Out Together

Try working out indoors together; get your body heated and hearts racing. And what's even more romantic the shower you can enjoy together afterwards?

Happy Valentines Day!

photo credit: Sugar Cookies 2 via photopin (license)

Feel Free to share your indoor activities for Valentines Day. 

PW Opinion 4: Go Meditate

I won't go on about the benefits of meditation. You can Google that.

So I normally meditate here and there. Not as much I should, it's always easier to rant, rave and tell someone. The first thing is never to calm down and meditate.. Until later in the day I say to myself "I should have just meditated"

However my boyfriend is huge on meditation and spirituality. so he encourages me to meditate more and I do. However this isn't about my relationship. The inner peace is real.

Go Meditate!!!

Pw Opinion 3: How to Get Rid of A Person You Are Not Interested In

Do you have that person or people who contact you constantly but you are not interested in for whatever reason? 

You can handle these situations in many ways, depends on how much you care or don't care about that person's feelings. However you always do this honestly and as straight forward as possible. But here are two;

The Realest Way

You simply say how you feel. Probably "I am not interested in you, I would never be and would prefer for you not to pursue me anymore". Or perhaps you just got out of a relationship and you're not ready to date yet. Whatever it is you let that person know honestly. There are many things that can happen by handling the situation this way.

• The person on the receiving end offers a friendship. This person is placing themselves in the friend-zone willingly. This is always questionable. Accepting this is up to you; you may either become great friends or  just have someone who is just waiting for the right moment to hop out the friend-zone. 
• The person on the receiving end may not deal with rejection well. Being from the Caribbean you might get something like "Gyal me na care wa yuh say mi haffi get you one day" or something like "I'm going to make you want me" - I dunno. You can always apply The Block and Delete explained later. An order of protection might be appropriate too, people are crazy.   

(Make sure you are not turning down a great guy because you're interested in someone with a girlfriend - pathetic)

The Block and Delete

This way you do not say anything to this person. Block and Delete this person from all Social Media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, or whatever you use. Do not forget the messaging apps like Kik, Blackberry Messenger and WhatsApp. Call your phone company and have their numbers barred from calls and text. I have a Galaxy "Add to reject list" or "Add to spam numbers" works well. At this point you pretty much hope the  person gets the point. This works best if this is someone you can avoid and would not see again. 

Women Are Turned Off By... Part 1

As a woman I know what makes me do a complete 180 from a guy. Bad teeth, no ambition, immaturity and the list goes on. I was always wondered what makes other women get turned off from a guy. And Guys if you want to know why we go the opposite direction or put you in the famous "Friend Zone".. Here it is!

1. Men that sag their pants. I don't need to see your ass. Any man I'm dating should be a role model for children in today's world. You can not do that with your ass exposed!

2. Not dressing appropriately when required. It is important for a guy I am dating to be able to dress appropriately. I go to church and I would like to be able for him to come with me and look the part. It is recommended that he knows how to like a gentleman.

3. Poorly Groomed Hair. I despise dirty, unkempt hair and facial hair. If a guys hair is not groomed I find it disgusting.

4. Abusive, Controlling Men - If a guy was abusive or controlling towards me... A sorry is not recommended, because it won't be accepted. I'm out.

-Angella (Model)

1) Ego: The number one turn off for me is an egotistical man!

2) The Workaholic: It's important to work, we all have bills to pay, but when all there is to you is work, Houston we have a problem. Your cellphone getting more conversation than me at dinner is a turn off...

3) Bad Hygiene: Personal hygiene is a huge thing for me... Not only is bad hygiene a turn off, but spraying yourself with enough cologne to suffocate me is also a turn off...Here's a tip, it's called bathing

4) Shitty Attitude: Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching? A negative attitude is a huge turn off, this will make me excuse myself to go to the bathroom and you'll never see me again! Change my number and all...

5) Dreadful Personality: Personality is major component of any relationship. We all know that's one the key things that employers look for and it's also one of the key things that can turn me off from a person. Lacking a personality shows that we'll never have any fun together but having too much of a personality can also be a turn off...

- S.W.

Part 2 next Tuesday

Men Are Turned Off By... Part 1

I  always wondered what characteristics and qualities guys found repulsive in women. So I went on a mission asking single men, men in relationships and married men, of many different ages and backgrounds what their turnoffs are when it comes to women. So Ladies, if you're wondering why he left you, why he doesn't like you, or why he doesn't take you seriously... Chances are the answer is here. Here are the first two responses:

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1. Women who need the validation of a man to confirm their self worth. Like yes you may like a particular guy, but if he doesn't want to be with you anymore, why would you think that you are worthless, and not worthy of good things?

2. WOMEN WHO SMOKE CIGARETTES. I have enough things to worry about with growing old with someone than have to worry about her self inflicting long term illness.

3. Women who center their whole world around their man. It is the MOST FOOLISH thing a woman can do. Not to say you should not cater to him but when even your spare time is only about your man then there is a problem. How can you not have a hobby of your own. How can you not have your own interests. You were born alone for a reason.

4. Women that are always bored.

5. Women who have marriage as their end goal. As in that is all they dream about and that is all they want. They will compromise themselves just to say that they are married. And they are never satisfied unless they are married.

6. Women who use sex as punishment, or some form or reward. Holding out because of time constraints, or because the man "acting up".

-Eclipse

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1. Lazy Females is the #1 turn-off in my book because; don't get me wrong there are a lot of smart women out there but they are lazy to commit to the actions. These women tend to be lazy with everything they do work and even with their own children Example. THIS SHIT... no way in hell my mom would have let this go down. Come on ladies!!! #DIEBITCHDIE