10 Things that Happened to Me in August

1. I got caught by my boss saying sexually inappropriate stuff.  (I did not get in trouble he likes that stuff though he won't come out and say it)

2. I married the love of my life.

3. Cursed random woman; she saw me with baggies while walking my dog Rocky but still decided to comment while I'm walking by to her friend " These dirty people don't clean up after their dogs." Like bitch you see me with apparatus to pick his shit up like I always do so shut the fuck up. 
 
4. I got hit on by a 16 year old

5. I got hit on by a 70 year old.  (Like the dude needs Viagra to get his eye lids up)

6. I bought an awesome bedside table for FIVE DOLLARS!

7. I announced I got married at an office party.  No one remembered on the following Monday. Talk about being hammered.

8. Rolled of the bed and hit my arm very hard. My husband did not wake up or budge.

9. Got wasted with my husband. Threw up from Friday's shitty food.  Now he gets super concerned when I'm drinking. 

10. Did I mention I fucking got married?  :-)